"Rejoice in the Lord always; and again I say rejoice" (Philippians 4:4)

The Apostle Paul knew a thing or two about trusting in God even during periods of adversity. All will be well: in God's own good time.

And goodness me, don't we have a lot to rejoice about right here, right now in Hadleigh?

Let me count the ways.

By far the greatest joy is......the re-opening of Greggs! You could hear the collective sigh of relief ripple through the town and beyond once the store's refit had been completed. Even a vegan sausage roll is better than no roll at all (I'm sure that's in Leviticus somewhere).

Then, there was the coronation of HRH King Charles III. As dedicated readers of this column will attest, I'm a little ambiguous about the institution of monarchy. After all, it was Mary Tudor who consigned me to the pyre. On the other hand, without her misplaced zeal, my occasional current musings, designed to hold a lighted torch to highlight others misplaced zeal, might never have been inspired or signed-off by the big G.

Our current monarch, though, is most assuredly not Mary Tudor. Indeed, he rather reminds me of her old pa (albeit only married the twice and not six times): Henry VIII who after all relaunched the faith brand in this country. I hope those who celebrated the event, and indeed those who didn't, had a good time, in spite of - or being English - because of - the weather.

The results of the recent elections were another source of widespread dancing in the streets of dear old Hadders. Prompted by Father Derek, who was returned to represent his own ward in the far east (of the Shotley Peninsula), here is your old spook's breathless and utterly idiosyncratic analysis of the most significant outcomes:

Gone

OUT: the town's most famous political dissembler, Sian 'Queenie' Dawson has lost her tin crown in Hadleigh North, having been heavily bested by a Veggie. Rumours have it that she is now applying to study moral philosophy at a Russian University

OUT: Simon 'Toad/Onan' Barrett was not only beaten but humiliated, finishing a far distant third in his seat and attracting the risible total of 79 votes. There are hundreds of communicable diseases that would pull in more support than that. Anyway, local politics' gain is the second-hand car market's loss as Toad/Onan looks set to return to his day job of flogging motors. The Barrett brand has become sufficiently toxic that Mrs B was also a loser on Thursday

OUT (actually never really IN in the first place - part I): Rather like Norwich City, Bolter Ferguson has a way with bad runs and has clocked up another defeat. From twice-defeated to thrice-defeated. Time for him to spend more time polishing his personalised number plates, I think

OUT (but actually never really IN in the first place - part II): Gordon 'Jilted John' Mcleod flattered to deceive and performed so badly that even Bolter did better than him. The Mayor (for the time-being) of Hadleigh now has more time on his hands to be all butch as he co-opts the rest of the Village People to fill the many vacancies on the Town Council

IN (but only just): Kathryn 'Grandone' Grandon, having been beaten by one Veggie, squeezed her way - just - passed a second Green Party challenger, but only after a nervous recount. Speculation, not denied by Grandone, that if elected as an Independent she might defect to the Conservatives, continues to fester. But given that the Blues have been reduced to a rubble (or maybe that should be rabble) of just five councillors - the Four Horsemen of the Tory Apocalypse plus someone called Margaret MayDay! - such treachery would be utterly self-defeating. That said, I understand that her chances of resuming her Council chairpersonship are in the balance and quite possibly to be found wanting.

Back: Brian 'Chernobyl' Riley is reprising his role as the councillor who brings gaiety to all, this time as a member for Pinewood. Estate agents in North Carolina have, apparently, already lined up a nice little pad for him from the summer onwards.

Now your spectre is nothing if not ever-so 'umble. I do recognise that there were reasons other than this column for the defeats of Queenie, Toad/Onan, Bolter and Jilted John and the under-performance of Grandone.

Yet I hope I played a small part, alongside that of the fearsomely honest reporting of Father Derek, in holding them to account and indeed chastising their actions as unbecoming of elected representatives or wannabe ones.

And so a watchful eye from your spectre continues.

Satire never sleeps. It just dozes off now and then.

Rejoice!