One of the great advantages of being dead, is that I don't need to buy presents for anyone. Admittedly, whilst I was in my fleshy existence, I didn't do that either. 

To my constant surprise, this seemed to offend Mrs Taylor, especially when I once tried to explain, rather airily I now admit, that my gift-giving was to deliver sermons and writings to my parishioners here in Hadleigh. 

She didn't speak to me for three weeks after that. So, there were other advantages to not buying nick-nacks from the Tudor-equivalent of QD! 

But I am pleased to see the High Street bustling with shoppers and our fine retail stores – plus the mob at Moronson's – doing well. 

I notice that Jan Byrne, the Marie Antoinette of the previous Town Council ("let them eat pargetting"), has ticked off myself and grumpy guts Guthrum for failing to applaud the efforts of the current staff in organising the Christmas fayre and all its accoutrements. 

To be fair, I did remark upon Mayor Gordon 'Jilted John' Macleod's butch supervisory efforts during the tree erection phase of the project, but was too distracted by what else was going on at the House of Horrors, aka the Town Hall. 

These included councillor 'Astroturf' Beggerow being found guilty as charged by a code of conduct investigation, councillors exonerating each other over anti-military comments made by councillor Carol 'Forces' Sweetheart' Schleip during the appointment of a town clerk a few years ago and the resignation of councillor Andrew  'Rough Diamond' Knock whose patience with the secrecy and stonewalling of 'senior' representatives has come to an understandable end. 

But there is more which took my attention away from the efforts of the Town Council's mince pie making and flickering, twinkly lights department. 

Roger Young forensically destroyed Hadleigh council figures

Roger Young's damning testimony into the financial burdens being placed on Hadleigh's hard-pressed Council Taxpayers in the years ahead, by the questionable decisions of both Marie Antoinette Byrne's ancient regime and Jilted John's current shambles is a shocker. 

Speaking humbly, Mr Young is to numbers, what I am to words. He understands them. He thinks about them. He cares about how they are crafted and used. And he clearly knows the language of accounting inside out. 

I must admit, I find such people rather forbidding, almost cabalistic in their insights which are not immediately obvious to the rest of us. 

Yet, Mr Young has done us all a favour. 

After appearing at a Babergh District Council meeting a while back as he held up the folly of Generalissimo Ward's abacus calculations to charge earlier and more for short-term car parking in the town, he has now popped up at the House of Horrors. 

In his submission to the Town Council's finest (no, not really) brains, he exposed one basic accounting error after another. Worse, he demonstrated how the, now forgive me here as I'm struggling with the appropriate CIPFA-approved technical language, 'batshit crazy' projections for the new cemetery were both a country mile out and sneakily hidden away elsewhere in the draft budget for 2023/24. 

At best this is incompetent. At a middle point could there be evidence of maladministration? Could it also be considered corrupt practice? Should PC Passmore and the Police be called in to take a look at the books? 

Whatever the various malfeasances at work here, as Mr Young points out it is us (well, alright – you, as Generalissimo can't levy taxes on ghouls) who will have to cough up. The cost of the original loan for the cemetery expansion has already meant that Hadleigh taxpayers are paying nearly 19% more on the town 'bit' of their Council Tax bill over the last two years than they should otherwise be doing. 

Our Lord Jesus Christ was born into the Roman Empire, whose rulers – when not being beastly cruel to the populace - pacified them with bread and circuses. 

Here in Hadleigh, our Town Council appears to be employing a similar approach. But in fact, through spiralling tax increases they are taking the bread out of the mouths of householders and giving us in return the circus acts, so beloved by Marie Antoinette Byrne. 

But don't forget: there are elections coming up in May 2023, so we will have the chance to take the presents away from  those naughty councillors who put circuses before bread. 

Happy Christmas all.