Guthrum here. Your ghost with the most. Your king with the bling.

I always get into the Christmas spirit, if you'll pardon the pun. So I was right stoked to see the special Christmas event on in the High Street on Saturday.

'Christmas Fayre and Shopping Spectacular' they called it. They even closed the road. What was it the Picts used to say? 'No Through Woad', haha.

No. The Picts never used to say that. Why would they? It doesn't make sense. Squire Derek insisted on me writing it. Whatevs. As regular readers know,  I don't get modern humour.

Now, when the people of Hadleigh close the High Street, you know shíttr just got real. Very little gets in the way of their chariots and parking them as close as possible to the shops. So I knew this was something big.

Not gonna lie, shopping isn't usually my thing. But it was a good kräk. I loved the streetfood, the brass band, the choir, and the general atmos. I even saw some Elves and a small Frost Giant. Made me homesick.

You might have seen me lurking about. Maybe not. Sometimes it pays to be translucent. Certainly helps when shopping and the only coins you have are spectral kroner. I look at it this way: I've not collected tithes for hundreds of years, so you lot owe me. So as I floated around the stalls you could say I took a few things in lieu of back-taxes. You get me?

Picked up a present for the secret-Santa thing I'm in with Squire Derek and the blessed Rowland Taylor. Christmas sorted. Nothing expensive, obvs. Just a small gift. As we used to say: less is myrrh, haha.

Stood at the back for the switching on of the Christmas lights. Fair do's, it was lovely.

But if you ever want a royal Viking superstar to flick the switch for you, I'm available. Just sayin. I'm used to public speaking. No need for costume hire. And I can bring my own ghostly illumination.

I'm the whole package. And for you, Hadleigh, it would be free of charge – apart from a quart or two of ale.

Now that's a real Christmas bargain.

Video of Hadleigh Christmas Fayre, frequented by the Spirit of Guthrum