Guthrum here. Your mislaid shade.

Met Squire Derek in Huffer's yesterday. We split another full Danish. He said he's been chucked out of Baron Ward's Privy Council.

What for? Not gonna lie, I'm not sure. Something to do with the blessèd Rowland Taylor.

What have the musings of a ghost got to do with the Baron's Privy Councillors? Again, not sure. I know they are in charge of parking, but didn't realise they regulated us spooks too. Or the press.

Gotta say, wish I'd paid more attention to the press back in my day. But I had my hands full, didn't I. Try ruling a rowdy mix of Danes, Angles, Saxons, Franks, and Jutes. Romano-Britons. The odd Pict. Pagans and Christians. People from Norfolk. It's a full-time job, believe me.

Meanwhile, Alfred the 'Great' (debatable) got his scribes to put his side of the story into the history books. Cute stories about burning cakes. Please.

Shoulda got my own cute stories written down. How I saved an injured swan under Toppesfield Bridge, or whatevs. Something like that. Missed a trick.

So I get that some Privy Councillors want to discourage the wrong sort of stories. But I thought you did things differently nowadays. Freedom of expression innit? Over-rated imo, but you lot keep bangin on about it.

The blessèd Rowland Taylor ain't everyone's cup of mead. By Frigg, he was always stubborn and outspoken. Comes with the martyr territory. But if the nobility still can't tolerate him, maybe you haven't come quite as far from the Dark Ages as you think.

And what about me, your charmer in armour? As you know, this is one monarch who isn't afraid to speak truth to power. Unless it's imprudent to do so, obvs. Then I'll say whatever they want, tbh.

So listen, how about this, peasants of Hadleigh: if I ever spin you a load of old møg about a Privy Councillor saving an injured swan under Toppesfield Bridge, then you'll know I've been got at. Deal?

The Spirit of Guthrum is a resident from the Hadleigh area, whose views are very much his own.

Squire Derek banished from Privy Council.

Guthrum back in hadleigh