King Guthrum here. Your chief with a beef. Your regence with a grievance. Your annoyed from the void.

Snuck into the Hadleigh Show on Saturday. Didn't book a ticket, obvs. At those prices? Said I was a re-enactor performing later - walked straight in.

Sometimes a regal demeanour and the right threads is all you need.

Fine cattle, worth a King's ransom

Not seen so many chariots parked in the fields of Hadleigh since my funeral.

And for free. Imagine the parking charge bonanza they could've had. Would've paid for the cemetery extension I hear some people moaning about.

Anyway, gotta say, it was a good kråk. Hearty food, mellow ale, fine livestock.

Everything you need for a farmstead and a good life. Which is all I ever wanted tbh.

They even had archery for the kids. Great lifeskill. It could've done with an axe-throwing competition and a hog-carrying race but, as Alfred the 'Great' (debatable) told me, you can't have everything.

Loved the moto-cross display team. They really showed up those moped riders who roar up and down the town at all times of the night. They're rubbish.

And the torch relay made me nostalgic. Fire-veneration. Like old times. But, not gonna lie, my favourite is always the funfair.

Put me on a merry-go-round horse and I'll charge around for hours, re-living the glory days. "To horse! For this day we ride to Wessex. With Loki at our heels." That sort of schtick, you get me.

Well done Hadleigh Show. Good to have you back.

Another effigy