Saturday's Sting in the Tail

Paraprosdokians - Winston Churchill loved them, they are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Enjoy the second in our series.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find one now.

(Our thanks to Nub News reader Geraint Pugh for this idea, and contribution)

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Today's Hadleigh sunrise: 05:55

Today's Hadleigh sunset: 18:08

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Weather:

Brightest first thing, however, cloud should spread southwards during the morning giving a risk of patchy light rain more generally. Rather cool, but with light winds. Maximum temperature 12c, low of 5c.

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Orwell Bridge:

Open

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Joke of the day:

I hate Russian dolls…

They're so full of themselves

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Covid-19 rapid flow test

United Reform Church, Market Place Hadleigh

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday: 0700 - 13:30

Thursday: 12:30-19:00.

Visit www.suffolk.gov.uk or call 0333 772 6144 to book a test.

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Gulf Garage and Londis Shop, Lady Lane:

Monday: 06:00 - 21:00

Tuesday: 06:00 - 21:00

Wednesday: 06:00 - 21:00

Thursday: 06:00 - 21:00

Friday: 06:00 - 21:00

Saturday: 07:00 - 21:00

Sunday: 07:00 - 21:00

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Citizens Advice Bureau phone advice for patients at Hadleigh, Boxford and Bildeston surgeries

1. 00 - 15.00

Tuesdays: 07384429361

Wednesday: 07586741250

Thursday: 07379202164

Babergh's Home But Not Alone helpline: Freephone 0800 876 6926

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Doctors:

Hadleigh Health centre

1. 00am - 6.30pm

Boxford Mill Surgery

1. 00am - 1pm

Link to online booking system for both, here...

Contact: 01473 822 961

Call 111 out of hours.

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Bus timetable:

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Supermarket opening times:

Morrisons – 07:00 – 22:00

Spar – 06:00 – 23:00

Co-op - 07:00 – 22:00

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Pharmacies:

Mill Lane: 08:00 - 18:30

Boots: 09:00 – 17:30

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Library is open for Select & Collect and reservations only.

Opening times

Monday Closed

Tuesday 0900 - 1700

Wednesday 0900 - 1700

Thursday 0900 - 1800

Friday 0900 - 1700

Saturday 0930 - 1700

Sunday 1000 - 1600

Out-of-hours book return available

Please note that the main entrance will be closed during the week of 15 March due to building work. However, you will still be able to return or collect items via the double doors on the High Street.

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Add your event to our Hadleigh What's On page by using the black Nub It button here… It is free and easy to use.

Add your business, service or community group to our Hadleigh Local List by using the black Nub It button, it is free and easy to use.

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What else would you like to see in the daily Hadleigh Breakfast Briefing?

Contact [email protected]