After all the busyness associated with both Holy Week and the Easter weekend, I was hoping to spend a while in the ghostly equivalent of The Priory. 

These retreats tend to combine the stuff of spiritual Spotify playlists (mainly Gregorian chants and Demis Roussos's back catalogue) and rather rigorous contemplative massages from reformed shades of Viking-esque extraction. Think 'Big G' Guthrum, but without the inferiority complex. And bigger horns.  

Yet good ol' Hadders can always be counted on to offer enough material in one short week to necessitate a return to my scriptorium for a, er, scribble. 

And these events, dear boy, events certainly emphasise the proximity of the very good and the very less-than-good in our lil ol' town. 

Firstly, to the former. Many will have known Audrey Mann, Mrs Mann to you at the back since she was a longstanding teacher at Hadleigh High School, who passed over into Glory prior to the Covid pandemic. Because of that accursed plague, Audrey's memorial service was delayed until last Saturday. 

But what a very well-attended and very moving occasion it was. I had the privilege of knowing Audrey Mann for many years. Audrey Mann represented the very best of Hadleigh. 

In person, I recall a kind, quietly spoken woman who was a sharp observer of the world, albeit – thankfully – a very forgiving one. I recall that she and her husband, Philip, were such hardworking stalwarts at St. Mary's and for Churches Together in Hadleigh, putting others first and devoting so much of their time and energies not least in organising the Good Friday Walk of Witness.   

By contrast, Hadleigh Town Council, the ultimate sloop in the local government fleet, seems more than happy to put itself first before others. 

Town clerk and Pirate Queen Wendy Brame clearly rules the crow's nest at the Guildhall. According to our Revd Editor's breathless reporting from the last council meeting, the Pirate Queen decided to curtail consideration of various grant applications in favour of a confidential item to pay her more money. 

Call me a silly old-fashioned spook, but isn't this the wrong way round? 

Pirate Queen - self before service

Not according to Mayor Gordon 'Jilted John' Mcleod who brushed aside such objections. 

So it would appear that Jilted John considers repairs to two play areas, a new bench outside Partridge's, fixing the holes in the Layham Road tennis courts and the planting of a hedge to separate two distinct parts of the new cemetery to be less important than a whacking great salary increase (which presumably could always be backdated)? 

Perhaps he's right? Perhaps I've got it all wrong. Maybe the role of local government in Hadleigh is not that they serve us. But we serve them. 

A bit like the mice in Bagpuss, we can now understand what the administration elected in 2019 meant when they sang 'We will fix it". Fix it for themselves, clearly. 

Gordon 'Jilted John' McLeod agreed to put off grants to ensure clerk got her pay rise

Hadleigh Town Council is not fit for any purpose. The best thing that can happen is that nobody stands for election next May. 

Perhaps Generalissimo John Ward, when his teeny-tiny minority administration at Babergh is also booted out in 2023 could step up to the plate and mow the cemetery lawns and keep the Guildhall nicely dusted? 

Perhaps it could be taken over by Layham Parish Council? They don't seem to be totally dysfunctional, after all.