I'm not often moved to tears. The last time was when Alfred the 'Great' (debatable) had me by the bölír as I decided to convert to Christianity. But not gonna lie, I shed a tear or two today.

You remember the Hadleigh Bardic Poetry Competition I announced last time? A chance for the people of Hadleigh to show they hadn't forgotten me. To be honest, my expectations were low.

After a millennium or more of being overlooked, I didn't think you lot would bother to put quill to vellum.

I mean, it's hardly something important like parking charges is it? It'd be pitchforks and torches then, right?

And I was nearly proved right. Nearly. I'm gutted there was only one entry. But, as you'll see, it's quality fo' shizzle. And so, after careful consideration, I've declared it the worthy winner.

The author is a local rhymster who wishes to remain anonymous. I know what you're thinking; but I swear by Wotan's One Eye I didn't write it myself.

When it dropped through the Nub News letterbox, Squire Derek rushed over and could hardly contain his excitement. To be fair, he's the same every time there's a letter. But as he read it I saw his jaw drop. "Someone's actually submitted something", he muttered in disbelief, "and it's not bad".

This budding Bard, whoever he or she is, has not only gone and done a poem, but done it in both Modern and Old English-style. Kudos, as Squire Derek is wont to say.

Here it is:

Guthrum Thy Name.

He who hath abstains no longer

An army, a maiden, a black crow's claw.

O sea of men.

Alfred thine enemy

Thy speaks of thine god as if of a fake.

When this newer god harkens

O given Suffolk

The first Christian Viking

(Old English Version)

He who is't hath abstains nay longeth'r

An army, a maiden, a black crow's claw.

O flote of men.

Alfr'd thine foe

Thy speaks of thine god as if 't be true of a fake.

At which hour this new'r god harkens hath.

Baptis'd not tam'd

Guthrum thy name.

Not bad eh? Worthy of my old Bard, Erik the Well-Read. "Baptised Not Tamed" has a real ring to it – it'll look great on my statue plinth.

It takes a lot to make a Viking cry, but, gotta say, this poem had me blubbin' like an Anglo-Saxon. To whoever wrote it, your King says thank you.

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