Swords into ploughshares? Not without a delay button!

In the last week or so my iPhone, in a sure sign of some inner wisdom accorded to it by the Divine Being, has autonomously changed its own camera settings.

Whereas before it was aligned to the simple 'point and shoot without a care in the world, you reckless fool' function, now it insists on a purposeful and serious ten-second delay.

Inevitably, this initially led to group shots of the Taylor family either looking like bemused manatees at the outlet pipe of a Florida power station in a David Attenborough documentary, or as if they were fast-melting snowpeople, their smiles running into grimaces and outright frowns.

Of course, we're now used to it. Indeed, we all welcome the grace period given to us to adjust that stray lock of hair or pinch that small child on the bum to actually look up at the camera.

I think having a delay button would help others in this town as well.

In recent weeks, Hadleigh Nub News has reported on a growing number of things that folks have either publicly done or said in the heat of the moment which they probably now wholeheartedly regret.

This is partly due to how the human brain functions., not least the variable speeds at which its composite parts respond to stimuli.

The swiftest reactions emanate from the amygdala which resides in the lower part of the brain and plays an important role in fear and anger.

If the amygdala is the 100m sprinter, the prefrontal cortex is a marathon runner that paces itself carefully and with precision. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences.

In other words, to misquote a phrase: "the amygdala's response has lapped the world a thousand times before that of the prefrontal cortex has tuned into the Mark Murphy Breakfast Show and opened its first sachet of vanilla latte in the morning".

Now, combine this evolutionary element with the ubiquity of social media and other platforms plus the pent-up frustrations caused by a year-long pandemic and all the disagreements, restrictions and worries that that has entailed and you have the perfect recipe for the Hadleigh Fight Club.

Situations that call for the prefrontal to be pre-eminent are worsened thanks to the ambitions of the amygdala and its associates. Ploughshares get hammered back into swords.

Proving that corporate organisations suffer from this syndrome as much as individuals, Babergh District Council has wisely called for a month's further reflection on its short-sighted and appallingly inept plans to start charging for short-stay car parking after the first, free half an hour.

Council leader "Generalissimo" John Ward, has been smart enough to recognise that these proposals could influence the outcome of the County Council elections, where his new best friend, "Bolter" Alan Ferguson, is hoping to win Hadleigh for the Blues.

It's not that the cunning plans are being dropped, but Cllr. Ward knows that a period of further reflection both takes the momentum (or maybe Momentum) out of the antis' campaigning and allows his number crunchers to properly work through their sums before re-presenting them

"Generalissimo" himself has vicariously been the victim of this collective amygdala effect. One wonders what, if anything, the protestors who moved away from the peaceful PR stunt in Bridge Street to protest the proposed charges were thinking as they formed a convoy to doorstep Cllr. Ward.

The five-mile drive to Boxford should have provided enough time for the slothful prefrontal to catch up, but in this case it was still huffing and puffing along the A1071, as the group went far too far, far too fast. Accounts vary, but it does appear that "Generalissimo's" daughter was alone in the house and must have been very frightened by the resulting brouhaha on her driveway.

And then we have the example of two Hadleigh Town Councillors, James Bayliss and Richard Hinton who were recorded at the end of a meeting suggesting that all Babergh councillors, and some of their town colleagues, 'should be shot'.

Sheepish efforts by at least one of them to suggest that this was a commonplace and, therefore, largely meaningless way of expressing frustration about others, probably need to read the reports of the storming of the US Capitol to appreciate where such careless talk can end up.

None of the people above appear to be bad people. But in the heat of various moments they've said things or done things in the public domain that they probably now rather regret.

How they must now wish for a delay button.

That helpful little switch could be a person. Why can't Babergh District and Hadleigh Town Council employ someone to interject: "Did you really mean that? Have ten seconds to think it over and if you'd like to retract, none of us will refer to it again."

Ancient Rome managed this for a time, with even victorious generals returning to adoring, cheering crowds being subject to a little fella perched behind them whispering "Remember that you are merely a mortal". In other words, they were being told "think, laddie, before you attempt a coup.

Equally, I think social media posts should require a delay before they appear. Perhaps after three seconds the message "do you really mean to say that" could appear, followed at the same intervals with "surely you can do better than that?" and "what would your mother say?"

However, the delay button is pressed, it feels like the times we are living in require such a function as a matter of some urgency, albeit of the delayed variety.

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• Rowland Taylor's Ghost is the opinion of a columnist independent of the Nub News editorial team.