Rumours of my (re-)demise have been greatly exaggerated. 

I hear from Father Derek that there was fevered speculation, if not wishful thinking, in some dark and dingy corners of the town that I'd retired, consigning my keyboard to the flames.

I must admit to having been tempted to take something of a spiritual sabbatical. 

After all, with the district council ambitions of Queenie Dawson, Jilted John McLeod, Toad/Onan Barrett and Bolter Ferguson all null and void after their humiliations at the ballot box, I did feel a sense of, well, a sense of ennui.

Satirical life would never be the same again. I felt as deflated as a balloon let go by a small, crying child at the Hadleigh Show which (the balloon, not the child) is now withering away, all flaccid and droopy, on Grandone Grandon's diamante washing line.

But I now realise that life can still be fun with the current box set of councillors, both old and new. 

Babergh District Council appears to be run by a coalition arrangement that is the local government equivalent of Twister. Comprising three political groups, they'll be a different leader for each of the next four years and quite possibly different deputy leaders and cabinet members for each as well.

Council insiders are worried that this institutionalised instability will further lessen Babergh's heft compared with neighbouring, more normal authorities. 

Presumably, the idea is to give absolutely every councillor something important-sounding to do – all except the Conservatives, of course. The party of Mayday! Maybury and Chernobyl Riley look likely to be reduced to impotent, if somewhat bitchy, opposition.

The little leaders' system reminds me of the Herodian Tetrarchy at the time of Jesus -  brought in by Rome after the death of the mass murderer Herod 'the Great': all attitude and no ability.

Babergh administration leaders (Picture: BDC)

This represents a serious decline in the fortunes of Generalissimo John Ward, the previous 'leader for life'. His demotion to being the equivalent of the drummer in a jazz quartet has surely earnt him a new nom de guerre: Littlissimo.

Someone not directly affected by the ire of the electorate but still bruised from its collateral implications is Hadleigh's county councillor, Macadam Fraser.

Once he could rely on his fellow Tory boys and girls to buddy up with him when things got a bit out of hand politically. But now he looks the very epitome of William Friendless Esq.: Billy No-Mates to you and me. 

But he should draw some solace from the fact that it's not over until it is truly over. He need look no further than Pirate Queen Wendy Brame's piratical crew (aka Hadleigh Town Council) for solace. 

For just look at who has returned. Maritime Minns! Admittedly, Maritime was 'co-opted' (invited back as a good ol' boy by Jilted John) rather than running the gauntlet of voters. But the man has a style and substance much needed by that benighted entity (and indeed your correspondent).

I still haven't got a clue about the two Veggies (Green Party people) now representing Hadleigh and but for eight votes taken by them from the Grandone, it could have been three.

For the time-being and for the purposes of this column, the female councillor (assuming she is cis-gendered – aren't you impressed I know about such things?) shall henceforth be known as Veggie 1, and her male (ditto) equivalent as, predictably, Veggie 2. 

The Veggies might (geddit?) seem as bland as broccoli soup at the moment, but this may change as they start opening their mouths and actually doing things.

*Rowland Taylor's Ghost is a satirical columnist who lives in the Hadleigh area that has never represented any political group on either the town, district or county council and views are not necessarily representative of Nub News' editorial content providers but purely for the enjoyment of our every growing army of readers.