Early morning last Saturday, someone banged on my door. I'd had a heavy night so I was a bit slow to get there.

It was Squire Derek. "Hurry up," he said, "We're going on a trip. Bring your helmet, chainmail, fur robe and hammer. The full monty. I want to show you something."

Minutes later, I was clambering into the Nub News van. Or the 'Scoopmobile' as Squire Derek likes to call it.

"Where are we going?" I asked, hoping it might be for a full Danish at Huffers.

"Haverhill."

"What for?" Even back in the day, I could never think of a good reason to go to Haverhill, let alone this early on a Saturday.

Squire Derek grinned. "You'll see."

Gobsmacked

When we got there I was gobsmacked. It was like the whole town had turned out. People were banging drums, cheering, smiling and clapping as a parade went up the High Street. And what did I see at the front? A ten foot Viking. Called Haver.

They reckon this Haver guy founded the town. Clue's in the name. Swear down, I can't say I remember him. But that could just be me. You know what they say: if you can remember the 860s, you weren't really there.

At first, gotta say, I was a little envious. The town was celebrating this B-list celeb, when my own town has forgotten all about its Grade A, top-notch, genuine King. I mean, what the actual?

But the feeling passed. I got into the vibe. People thought I was part of the parade. So I joined on the end. Not gonna lie, I hammed it up a bit. Gave them the old Beserker stare and a few growls. They loved it.

A child pulled my beard thinking it was glued on. The look I gave her was enough.

A callow youth asked me where I got my fake facial tattoos from as he wanted some.

"I got them on the eve of battle," I said. "Inked by torchlight by a cackling hedge-witch possessed by the spirit of Loki."

"Ok Boomer", he said, walking off.

Viking parade brought town together

But everyone else was lovely. They really got into the spirit, if you'll pardon the pun.

Haver delivered the booty. Kudos.

In the van on the way back, I asked Squire Derek what it was I saw in the faces of those townsfolk. Something I hadn't seen for a long time. They didn't seem brought down by thoughts of plague, war, empty shops, or even, by Frigg, parking charges.

"It was glee", said Squire Derek. "They were having fun. And so were you."

For once, I wasn't thinking about my grievance with you lot. You know, the statue thing.

"That's what Hadleigh people really need right now", I said. "A bit of fun."

"You're not wrong there, Boomer", said Squire Derek, smiling. Cheeky bgírr.

*Scroll right on top picture for more parade images

*See What's On closer to Hadleigh.