Beware: Reverends sermonising!

Anyone with the imagination and time might care to design a road sign depicting such a warning. A diversion route via The Spirit of Guthrum is recommended where 'Old Bloodlust' is talking balls. Footballs, obvs.

One of the reasons for my earthly demise was that I wouldn't keep my mouth shut. Death really hasn't changed me in that regards, you know.

Speaking truth to power appears to be something of a family tradition. Someone recently suggested that one of my descendants was president Abraham Lincoln.

Up here in the big H everyone is connected to everyone else through the glory of God, but I like the idea of having a Best Friends Forever link to honest Abe. His refusal to backdown in the face of the threats from the slave-owning states led to the destruction of that particular evil and, er, his own murder.

Martyrs R Us.

Anyway, today's sermon, sorry column, is about equality. Early Christianity was pretty hot on everything being held in common: no two metres rule for them. St. Paul, a one-man Tripadvisor, used the extended metaphor of the parts of the body - different, but linked - to explain the unity of humanity.

If you haven't already re-set your reading sat-nav for the Naughty Norseman, take the time to read what the A-list apostle has to say in 1 Corinthians 12, verses 12 - 31.

The passage is populated by talking eyes and ears who seem to have got the hump (sorry) about the hands and head, as well as coded references to parts "which don't look very nice." (What can he mean?). And they say us Christians are boring.

But basically, the Pauline message was: look out for each other - all are equally valuable.

Yet data released last week from the Office for National Statistics confirms what has been all too apparent in Hadleigh for a very long time: pockets of nauseating wealth are juxtaposed with areas of severe deprivation.

According to the ONS, an irregular quadrilateral shape from Calais Street to the Old Dairy in George Street down to the High Street and back up again is in the top third of most deprived neighbourhoods in the country.

Another chunk of the town, roughly the rectangle between George Street and the road named after yours truly is more deprived than average. But the area to its east - around Highlands Road and up to Pond Hall Road is easily in the 10% least deprived in the country.

Given that Hadleigh is still a pretty small place, such inequalities are most visible in terms of the quality of housing occupied and jobs taken by residents.

Rather than faffing over pylons and other middle-class obsessions, isn't it time that our local politicians worked to, coin a phrase from our Popish prime minister, level up the poorest parts of the town?

Generalissimo John Ward: I'm looking at you. Time to build more council houses for Hadleigh and attract more businesses into the town.

On the subject of jobs, I'm rather discomforted by goings on at the Hadleigh Co-op. For all of its focus on ethically and locally sourced products, the retailer does seem to be aping its greedier rivals.

It's as if a shy, studious and wokey teenager has slipped too much Jagermeister into his/her shandy and almost overnight turned into some gobby Alf Garnett character.

Firstly, there are the self-service checkouts. In spite of protestations to the contrary, these Devilish abominations are less about customer convenience and more about reducing headcount.

Not only that, but it is the responsibility of one of the remaining checkout staff not only to serve their customers but keep an eye out for when these servants of Baal malfunction. Which they do with a wearying level of repetition.

Now I hear that there is a restructure being planned, which some staff worry could lead to both reduced working hours and outright job losses. Apparently all will be revealed next week.

I doubt that this has much to do with Garry Spinks, the admirable and hardworking manager, but more likely some diktat from Co-op HQ at Wherstead Park. But the staff at the Hadleigh store do deserve better.

Here endeth the sermon: for now!