They say that Cramlington is rather lovely at this time of year. Somewhat larger than Hadleigh, the Northumbrian town dates back to the Iron Age, but it's modern incarnation is a bustling and success settlement, with a strong business base.

Made stronger, it would appear, by Hadleigh Together splashing out its cash to a Cramlington printers, as revealed earlier by Hadleigh Nub News. Clearly, having undermined the 'Together' half of the party's name, it is now set on dismantling the 'Hadleigh' element as well. But more on that leaflet later.

More generally, election literature has been dripping its way into chez Taylor like a leaky faucet and I thought now was the time to try and fix the personality plumbing.

I can mix metaphors with the best of them, and so intend to go all head masterly and help to mark the homework that the electorate have set the various candidates.

Firstly, the county council elections. Disappointingly, the Taylor household doesn't seem to have been blessed with anything from either the Green or Labour Parties. Yes, I know they've been doing 'stuff' online, but as someone who grew up in the sixteenth century, for me words on paper are innovation enough. And I'm sure I'm not alone in appreciating the time to sit down and browse through physical literature.

So, no marks for the two femmes fatales trying to win Hadleigh for the Bonny and Clyde dual leadership of the Green Party and that chap with the impressive hair for Labour.

Next up is the Conservative incumbent and continuity candidate, Mick 'Macadam' Fraser. Like the proverbial head boy, Macadam obviously doesn't feel the need to try too hard. In fact, I bet he got a fag or number of fags to sort all the hard work out for him.

The design of his leaflet is rather like that of a Checkatrade flyer - reassuringly dull by design and minimalist by content. But blandness is better than baloney if you are the frontrunner, so this is a wise tactic.

A solid six out of 10, there, Macadam.

By contrast, Independent Kathryn Grandon's effort is a superlative of activity and ideas - almost as if she's the pupil that has to try a little too hard to fit in.

Lifted up by greys and pinks - rather like a Vogue cover - the Grandone displays all the initiatives she's been involved in and the campaigns she's fought on behalf of residents - a few of whose positive comments are jotted across the leaflet's four pages.

The main downside of such a packed and resolutely busy literature is that the Grandone has had to reduce the point size to an eye-stretching and watering scale. Too small, alas, for this cleric's aged eyes to read for more than a few seconds before having to rest for many hours before they next read.

A shame really, as I can only award this a six-and-a-half out of ten.

Liberal Democrat Trevor Sheldrick's single-sided A4 script, without pictures, is printed on dayglo yellow paper which gives the Taylor retinas yet further reason for complaint.

It looks as if this pupil, er, candidate, threw this together at the last minute before handing in his homework. Cleverly, he tries to turn this to his advantage by suggesting that he won't be extolling his own virtues - unlike the others - and that most of the achievements they trumpet for themselves are actually the work of teams of staff working with them. Ouch!

Five out of ten for the chutzpah.

Only two town council leaflets have been presented to the Revd Taylor Examination Board to date.

The first is from Independent Rickaby Shearly-Sanders, an A5 monochromatic masterpiece of plain speaking and bullet pointed achievements and ambitions. But it's all a little abbreviated - more detail, please in future.

And so, onto the Northumbria-boosting Hadleigh Together effort. It's an interesting A4 leaflet gate folded into three, outlining the party's claimed achievements and the biographies of the two candidates in this particular ward, Messers Carl Beer and Ben Dixon - both seemingly very admirable citizens.

But the section that is most interesting is the explanation as to what Hadleigh Together is all about (aside from not supporting local printers, of course).

According to the text: "we are a platform for election". Aside from being of questionable grammatical validity, this does rather sound as if Hadleigh Together is part of Network Rail, whereby electors wait increasingly impatiently for the party to turn up and do something about their earlier promises, whilst also addressing some of the less-than-wholesome antics of their existing councillors.

The text helpfully (with my observations in italics), explains that there is "No party line, no requirement to vote together (yet they do, all the time as if by magic), listen to the motion and make up your own mind (even if it's prejudicial) and vote accordingly but know you can ask for help of others if you need it (but not in town council meetings as Mayor Maritime Minns has put a stop to that)."

Regardless of any or all of the above, let's hope for a significantly high turnout on 6 May so that whomsoever is elected to represent our fine town on these two councils is able to do so with a reasonable mandate.

And let's not stop holding them to account - for our good and theirs.

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